When you take a look at your past and current friendships, have you ever been in an unhealthy friendship?  A relationship that makes you feel uncomfortable more often than comfortable when you interact?

If your answer is yes, why did you decide it is unhealthy? What is your definition of an unhealthy friendship?  If you do believe it is unhealthy, what is keeping you in this unhealthy friendship?

For many people it can be hard to acknowledge that a friendship is in fact unhealthy for them, because they want the companionship for fear of being alone. Unhealthy friendships though were never true friendships or they may have been at one time, but then there was a significant change in the dynamics of the relationship leaving you to feel worse after you get together.

So how do you know if you are in an unhealthy relationship? It is important to closely examine what you observe when you interact with your friend and how you feel both before and after you get together with them. Has that feeling changed since the friendship started?

Below is a list of some of the characteristics of unhealthy friendships to help you take that close look at your friendships.

  1. Do you feel you can’t be yourself in this relationship?
  2. Do they take and never give in the relationship?
  3.  Do they disrespect your opinions/ideas/goals?
  4. Is there constant tension when you interact?
  5. Is there always drama?
  6. Do they talk only about themselves- one side conversations?
  7. Do they push you to go against your beliefs or values?
  8. Do they give you putdowns disguised as compliments?
  9. Do they repeatedly share your personal information or secrets to others?
  10.  Do they often not mean what they say?
  11. Have they betrayed you more than once?
  12. Are you the one who does all the work of keeping the relationship going?
  13. Do they continually break plans to get together?

These are some of the key characteristics of unhealthy relationships. To hear more about healthy relationships and how to address problems in your relationship, click on the listen tab of this website to hear podcast episode #20 Are you in an unhealthy friendship?






Michelle Castelli

I am Michelle Castelli, an author, speaker, and relationship coach. I help people grow stronger and healthier relationships in these key areas of their life journey: Self, God/Spiritual, Dating, Marriage/family and Friends/co-workers.

I offer the empowering tool of personal coaching, and an insightful and life-changing podcast, blog, book, and relationship courses.